A Letter To Harry and Zach: 4 Months Old

Dear Harry and Zach,

I can’t believe you are four months old already. I remember reading while you were still nestled in my womb, that the first three to six months with twins is a blur. They were right, those other twin parents. I feel like the veil of constant tiredness is starting to lift. I am seeing the world clearly again, I am making plans for the future. All I can really remember of your first three months is your Papa coming down with gastro two days after we came home from hospital, and spending a great deal of time sitting on the lounge. Your first two months, I pretty much slept upright on the lounge. I was lucky if I spent more than an hour in bed each night. I thought my derrière would be permanently without feeling due to all the couch time spent feeding you. I wish I had taken more photos of the two of you in those early months, but I struggled to form a coherent sentence, I couldn’t even think about anything other than tending your needs. Also, I thought I’d have more time to take photos to remember the early days by. Funny that.

But now you are four months old, and my, how you have grown and changed in such a short time. Your feeds are down to as little as 10 minutes, and you sleep 7pm until 1.30am most nights, and then until between 4.30 and 6am when we are up with the birds. No more lounge sleeping for me (and I have feeling back in my butt).

It’s remarkable how close together you achieve your milestones. Zach, you smiled first, but Harry was only a few hours behind. You both giggled for the first time on the same day. Harry, you rolled tummy to back, followed 30 seconds later by Zachy. You can both roll back to tummy too.

While you both bounced around inside my belly, I honestly thought that I was having both a boy and a girl. The sonographers and obstitricians kept insisting you were both boys. I had a feeling that if you were in fact both boys, that you were identical. I got that bit right at least. Your personalities are so different already, and I think that’s what I was picking up when I was still growing you on the inside.


Zachy, you are my sensitive little soul. You need more snuggles than your older brother, but when you feel safe, you give us the most beautiful smiles. You babble away gooing, giggling and chatting to anyone who will listen. You find going to sleep and waking up hard, but you are comforted by arms, by soft words and kisses. You may have been born second, but you certainly aren’t falling behind in your development (in fact, you may just have overtaken Harry). We put you on the floor, and you roll over and over and over again. I’m not sure I’m ready for all the movement.

Harry, you are my chilled out little dude. You are usually happy to wait while your little brother is given some extra attention. You already look out for him, trying to comfort him by moving closer to him in your cot when he’s struggling in the arms of sleep. I think that’s the way it’s going to be, you taking care of your little brother, protecting him from the world, while he showers you with love. You’re happy just relaxing on your blanket on the floor, feet dancing in the air. You’ve rolled once each way, and have decided that’s enough for you.


We’ve just celebrated your first Christmas. You didn’t get much in the way of presents, but you got showered with love. You spent the day being cuddled and held by family, all enjoying the magic of your existence, and hinting to others that more babies are wanted.

Harry and Zach, your first few months may have passed in a blink of an eye, but at the same time, I feel a bond with you that feels like its been there forever. I feel I’ve waited my whole life to meet you, that there is a special purpose for you being given into my care.

I can’t wait to see what the next month brings.

Love Mama xx

Merry Christmas

I can’t believe Christmas is upon us. Another year almost over, yet feels like it has just begun.

I’ll be spending Christmas eve making gingerbread men with big kids, wrapping presents for extended family, and listening to Christmas carols fill our little home while I make our contribution to the family Christmas lunch. Hubby is off at the crack of dawn to source some seafood for Christmas lunch. My cravings for prawns and oysters went unfulfilled while I was pregnant, and my mouth is watering just thinking about them. Hubby is under strict instructions to buy lots.

For the first time ever, I braved the shops with all four children on my own over the weekend. Hubby and I decided we didn’t need presents this year, but the biggies were desperate to buy presents for this Mamma and their Pappa. I thought I’d need a bex and a nap afterwards, but the biggies knew exactly what they wanted to buy and where they wanted to go. It was pretty pain free. I love that our children get as much joy out of giving presents as they do receiving. They can barely contain their excitement watching people unwrap their gifts.

Our Christmas tree already has loads of presents underneath, sent from relatives on the other side of the country. Just about all of them are for the kids, big ones for the older kids, and presents to celebrate the twins’ first christmas. The meaning of christmas for our family though, is spending time just being with our loved ones. I know if there were no presents under the tree, the biggies would be disappointed, but I also know they’d get over it pretty quickly, and revel in spending the day with their Granny and Grandpa and cousins (twice removed?). Just being with people they love. And so will I.

Wishing you a Merry Christmas from this little blog. I hope your day is filled with joy, and you are surrounded by people you love.


I can’t believe a year has passed since you left. Our group just isn’t the same without you, no one could make us laugh the way you did, often with tears streaming down our faces. You were one in a million.

I miss your ninja stories. I miss your outlook on life, always, alway positive. You taught me so much about realising just how lucky I am, how blessed my life is. Even at the end, when the doctors had long since given up, you still thought you had it pretty good, and always thought of others that wee worse off than you. You taught me to appreciate everyday that I have, to see the beauty in the world around me, not to take those I love for granted.

I miss you. I love you.

Wordless Wednesday: Kindy graduation is tiring business.


Linking up with Bree and Trish.

Twinkle In The Eye

My Little Drummer Boys

Waylaid plans and mistaken identities.

We moved recently, a small distance compared to many of our previous moves. I had to go and collect school work and and a report from our old school. With young breastfed twins, timing is everything. Feed change, get in the car and hit the freeway. The plan was to duck into school quickly, grab what was needed, then head to the shops, duck into the parents room, feed, change, and get on our way again.

Except it doesn’t happen like that. Does anything go to plan when you’ve got a baby (or two)?

The school office didn’t know where the report and schoolwork was, the teacher couldn’t be found, and there were lots of staff wanting a chat. The schoolwork and report were found (in the office), the teacher located (well sort of, she was off sick) and we were on our way.

We ducked into the shops, the boys got fed, changed and I’d just put them in the car when an old teacher of Dylan’s walked past, and stopped. She came back for a chat. As much as I wanted to get going to avoid overtired, screamy babies, I stopped to talk. She had moved north 12 months ago, and she wanted to know how things were.


And then things got weird. When I commented on her new hair colour, she gave me a funny look. She knew about our recent move, and about Harry and Zach, and even wanted a look. I was trying to figure out how she knew all these things. And then she asked if I’d managed to see the Child Health Nurse where we are now living.

It finally clicked. She wasn’t a teacher, she was our old Child Health Nurse, who the boys and I had only seen 4 weeks earlier. Someone weed seen numerous times in the boys’ short life.

Clearly I need more sleep, and more coffee.

The First Post

1. The first post of what I hope to be many. Recording my day to day life, my journey as a wife, mother, student and coffee inhaler.

Today I am a woman starting a blog, tired, as I should already be in bed. But I wanted to get this first post out of the way, so I can get down to the business of blogging.

Tomorrow is a new day, and with it comes… coffee.