A letter to harry and Zach: 12 months.

Dear Harry and Zach,

12 months.

A year.

A whole year you’ve been here. It feels like it’s passed in a blink of any eye, yet I feel as if I’ve lived a lifetime in the past twelve months. I knew from having Dylan, that when you have a child, your heart grows immeasurably. I knew from having Mahalia that when you have another child, your heart grows again. I was not prepared for how much my heart would grow, the depth of my love that came with your arrival.

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I was terrified while I was pregnant with the two of you. Caring for one baby is hard, how the hell was I going to manage two? But here we are, we’ve survived our first year together, with more laughs than with tears. The past year has not only been about discovering you, watching you learn and grow, but I’ve discovered myself too, I’ve never felt so comfortable in my own skin.

Who you are and what you do:

Favourite food: For both of you, it’s weetbix, spaghetti bolognaise and yoghurt (but not together).
Least favourite food: Harry – porridge, Zach – I don’t think I’ve seen you turn your nose up at anything yet.
Song: ‘Three little fishies’.
Doing: Waving, clapping, crawling and pulling up on furniture. You’re both so close to cruising.
Saying: Mama, Dada and buba.
Sleeping: Sometimes.
Teeth: Harry – two all the way through, and cutting another two, Zach – one all the way through, two have just come through your gums, and one more cutting.
Favourite toys: Zach – blocks and musical instruments, Harry – anything Zach has in his hands.
Favourite activity: bath time.
Who makes you laugh: each other.
Favourite person: each other.

We’ve had so much fun this past year. You bring joy to so many lives, and all who meet you adore you . It’s amazing see ing the bond between the two of you. You have such different personalities, Harry you are still so relaxed about everything, whereas Zach you are constantly on the go and trying new things, yet there seems to be an invisible thread that always draws you back together. You crawl around the house together, you crawl over each other in the bath, explore each other’s faces, try and cheer each other up, and make the other one laugh. You are so incredibly lucky to have each other, and we are so incredibly lucky to have you in our lives.

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Happy birthday my babies, and thank you for picking me to be your mama. xx

A letter to Harry and Zach: Six Months

A letter to Harry and Zach: six monthsMy two precious boys, I can’t believe another month has passed us by already. You don’t get to turn six months, being born on 29th August. Yesterday you were five months and thirty one days, today you are six months and one day.

Everyday you make me smile, everyday you make me laugh. You are experimenting with your voices more and more, Zachy, you especially love the sound of your own voice. You often have me giggling with the noises you make. Harry, your conversations aren’t as animated as your little brother’s, they’re much more laid back and relaxed, just like the rest of your personality.

The end of last month saw the introduction of supplementing your feeds with formula. The beginning of this month, we saw a lactation consultant worth her weight in gold. She managed to pick up what so many before had missed: tongue-tie, upper lip-tie, and high palates, all which result in poor attachment and milk transferral. Had these issues been picked up before you turned 3 months, you could have had the ties layered, and prevented feeding issues. Unfortunately, after 3 months, there’s no guarantees that the treatment would make any difference. We have managed to get rid of the formula though, topping you up with expressed milk, and on the lovely lactation consultant’s advice we’ve stopped weighing you. Instead of reading a book, we’re reading you. And you two are happy.

Your current favourite person is your Papa. As soon as I put you on my shoulders for burping after a feed, you immediately look around for your Daddy, your faces breaking out in huge smile when you see him, bouncing up and down on my lap until he comes and picks you up. You love having stories read to you, peek-a-boo makes you laugh, and you somehow don’t seem to mind my singing. You have your older brother and sister wrapped around your fingers; Mahalia is always asking to hold one of you, and Dylan has become your chief entertainer, playing ’round and round the garden’ on your little hands while you chuckle away.

Crawling practice is still a regular occurrence at bed time, bouncing around the cot like bunny rabbits up on arms and knees. How you don’t disturb each other, I don’t know. We’ve decided to leave you together in your cot for the time being. You sleep so well together, and I don’t want to risk ruining your sleeping patterns by separating you.

Today brings your first taste of solids, a day I’ve been in denial about for a long time. My babies are growing up. While I’m loving seeing your grow and develop, seeing your personalities emerge a little more each day, I want to savour each moment, I want your babyhood to last for longer. I can’t believe you’ve been in my arms for six months, half a year; soon you will have been in my arms longer than you were in my belly. Could you just slow down a little bit?

Happy six months my baby bears. As always,
Mama loves you. xx

The Best Part of 2013

Would definitely be the moment I met these two boys.

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2013 was a good year.

I hope you have a wonderful new year, and that 2014 is kind to you and your family.

Thanks for reading.

A Letter To Harry and Zach: 4 Months Old

Dear Harry and Zach,

I can’t believe you are four months old already. I remember reading while you were still nestled in my womb, that the first three to six months with twins is a blur. They were right, those other twin parents. I feel like the veil of constant tiredness is starting to lift. I am seeing the world clearly again, I am making plans for the future. All I can really remember of your first three months is your Papa coming down with gastro two days after we came home from hospital, and spending a great deal of time sitting on the lounge. Your first two months, I pretty much slept upright on the lounge. I was lucky if I spent more than an hour in bed each night. I thought my derrière would be permanently without feeling due to all the couch time spent feeding you. I wish I had taken more photos of the two of you in those early months, but I struggled to form a coherent sentence, I couldn’t even think about anything other than tending your needs. Also, I thought I’d have more time to take photos to remember the early days by. Funny that.

But now you are four months old, and my, how you have grown and changed in such a short time. Your feeds are down to as little as 10 minutes, and you sleep 7pm until 1.30am most nights, and then until between 4.30 and 6am when we are up with the birds. No more lounge sleeping for me (and I have feeling back in my butt).

It’s remarkable how close together you achieve your milestones. Zach, you smiled first, but Harry was only a few hours behind. You both giggled for the first time on the same day. Harry, you rolled tummy to back, followed 30 seconds later by Zachy. You can both roll back to tummy too.

While you both bounced around inside my belly, I honestly thought that I was having both a boy and a girl. The sonographers and obstitricians kept insisting you were both boys. I had a feeling that if you were in fact both boys, that you were identical. I got that bit right at least. Your personalities are so different already, and I think that’s what I was picking up when I was still growing you on the inside.

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Zachy, you are my sensitive little soul. You need more snuggles than your older brother, but when you feel safe, you give us the most beautiful smiles. You babble away gooing, giggling and chatting to anyone who will listen. You find going to sleep and waking up hard, but you are comforted by arms, by soft words and kisses. You may have been born second, but you certainly aren’t falling behind in your development (in fact, you may just have overtaken Harry). We put you on the floor, and you roll over and over and over again. I’m not sure I’m ready for all the movement.

Harry, you are my chilled out little dude. You are usually happy to wait while your little brother is given some extra attention. You already look out for him, trying to comfort him by moving closer to him in your cot when he’s struggling in the arms of sleep. I think that’s the way it’s going to be, you taking care of your little brother, protecting him from the world, while he showers you with love. You’re happy just relaxing on your blanket on the floor, feet dancing in the air. You’ve rolled once each way, and have decided that’s enough for you.

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We’ve just celebrated your first Christmas. You didn’t get much in the way of presents, but you got showered with love. You spent the day being cuddled and held by family, all enjoying the magic of your existence, and hinting to others that more babies are wanted.

Harry and Zach, your first few months may have passed in a blink of an eye, but at the same time, I feel a bond with you that feels like its been there forever. I feel I’ve waited my whole life to meet you, that there is a special purpose for you being given into my care.

I can’t wait to see what the next month brings.

Love Mama xx